d to engage in far more than girls, teaches important skills. Boys learn that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. If boys interpreted all “losses” as “rejections”, their game playing careers would be short-lived! And in the dating arena, it is still far more common for men to do the asking, (do thWomen need to start taking more risks if they want to make more money! And if women are going to take more risks, they need to be able to tolerate the anxiety that can come with risk taking, for that is why risk taking is so difficult. We need to risk picking up the phone and calling a potential referral source. We need to risk speaking up more at networking meetings. We need to risk offering a new service or creating a new niche. We need to risk raising our fees.

So if we have so much to gain by risk taking, why is it so difficult? Because on top of having to deal with anxiety, the other reality is that you won’t always win. You won’t always get what you ask for. Therefore, being able to risk really means being able to deal with hearing a possible “no” or “not right now”, and a lot of women tend to interpret this as rejection. Rejection always feels more personal than simple defeat.

Boys learn to deal with risk taking anxiety at a very young age, hurtling their little bodies off of play structures and later on the sports field. Girls are actively engaged in their social interconnections while boys are playing a variety of “games”, sports related and otherwise. Game playing, which boys tend to engage in far more than girls, teaches important skills. Boys learn that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. If boys interpreted all “losses” as “rejections”, their game playing careers would be short-lived! And in the dating arena, it is still far more common for men to do the asking, (do the

source. We need to risk speaking up more at networking meetings. We need to risk offering a new service or creating a new niche. We need to risk raising our fees.

So if we have so much to gain by risk taking, why is it so difficult? Because on top of having to deal with anxiety, the other reality is that you won’t always win. You won’t always get what you ask for. Therefore, being able to risk really means being able to deal with hearing a possible “no” or “not right now”, and a lot of women tend to interpret this as rejection. Rejection always feels more personal than simple defeat.

Boys learn to deal with risk taking anxiety at a very young age, hurtling their little bodies off of play structures and later on the sports field. Girls are actively engaged in their social interconnections while boys are playing a variety of “games”, sports related and otherwise. Game playing, which boys tend to engage in far more than girls, teaches important skills. Boys learn that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. If boys interpreted all “losses” as “rejections”, their game playing careers would be short-lived! And in the dating arena, it is still far more common for men to do the asking, (do th

is that you won’t always win. You won’t always get what you ask for. Therefore, being able to risk really means being able to deal with hearing a possible “no” or “not right now”, and a lot of women tend to interpret this as rejection. Rejection always feels more personal than simple defeat.

Boys learn to deal with risk taking anxiety at a very young age, hurtling their little bodies off of play structures and later on the sports field. Girls are actively engaged in their social interconnections while boys are playing a variety of “games”, sports related and otherwise. Game playing, which boys tend to engage in far more than girls, teaches important skills. Boys learn that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. If boys interpreted all “losses” as “rejections”, their game playing careers would be short-lived! And in the dating arena, it is still far more common for men to do the asking, (do th

earn to deal with risk taking anxiety at a very young age, hurtling their little bodies off of play structures and later on the sports field. Girls are actively engaged in their social interconnections while boys are playing a variety of “games”, sports related and otherwise. Game playing, which boys tend to engage in far more than girls, teaches important skills. Boys learn that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. If boys interpreted all “losses” as “rejections”, their game playing careers would be short-lived! And in the dating arena, it is still far more common for men to do the asking, (do thd to engage in far more than girls, teaches important skills. Boys learn that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. If boys interpreted all “losses” as “rejections”, their game playing careers would be short-lived! And in the dating arena, it is still far more common for men to do the asking, (do the risking) and consequently they must deal with the anxiety of “getting shot down”.

Indeed, there is some evidence that risk taking is at least partially gender specific. (For a great discussion of this, see Linda Austin’s What’s Holding You Back? 8 Critical Choices For Women’s Success.) But this means we must leverage our ability to take risks even more, because we are already partly behind the eight ball, in comparison to men. Women simply haven’t had enough practice, to tolerate the anxiety that risk taking entails. And it is in mastering this anxiety that the answer lies.

How do you do this? By flexing your risk taking muscles. Actively look for situations and places where you can take a risk. Obviously, start small. Some of you need to start by negotiating with your waiter about the irregularities of your order. Some of you are ready to offer yourself as a potential speaker. But push yourself, wherever you are, until you feel uncomfortable. (Remember, if you are not pushing on your comfort zone, it actually shrinks!) Now it’s true that by not risking, you are able to avoid feeling uncomfortable. But the more you flee from an anxiety provoking situation, the more you build up your aver