and dedication to accomplish the level of mastery that operates for the most part, on an unconscious level.

About a year ago, I discovered something that slices through the muck of learning to establish rapport, and will allow someone to instantly- yes instantly- create the same level of rapport with another person, that someone who has trained for years to be able to achieve with traditional NLP methods.

I am all about simplicity, call it laziness if you want- I’m very comfortable with that “label” if it means getting more done with less effort. Growing up in a farming community, I know all too well what it means to earn your spending money in high school “bucking” hay bales in 100 degree temperatures in the mid day sun. Even from an early age, I never understood the seeming “bravado” of the older men professing proudly how hard they work to earn their money. It didn’t make sense then, and it sure doesn’t make sense today. Mastery is about finding the most efficient way to achieve something, and even then, continuing to look for an even

How many times have you met someone for only a few moments, but something about the interaction left you feeling like you had known them for years? I’ll never forget that July day in the summer of 1977; I was putting the “sissy bar” back on my bike, so that I could get back to the ramp I had built in a attempt to pull off a stunt I felt would rival that of one of my heroes, Evel Knievel, when a kid that was in my class walked up into the yard. Although I knew Tommy, I’d really never had much of a conversation with him before. He was on his way to McCarty’s Market, a little grocery store about a block down the street from where I lived on 428 W. 13th St. in Trenton Missouri, and had noticed me in the front yard.

30 years later, I couldn’t tell you one single word Tommy spoke that day, but if I live to be 100 years old, I’ll forever remember how I felt. I had no idea what had happened, I literally felt as if I was standing across from a mirror image of myself, and that somehow Tommy was only speaking when he knew the words he would say, were the words I would choose if I was the one talking. Never before, in any of the previous 11 years of my life could I remember having been so relaxed and at ease. Every sign of tension had drained from my body, and all I wanted to do was listen to him talk. When he finally had to dash off to get the hand sliced lunch meat his mother had sent him to get for lunch, I remember just standing under the cool shade of that beautiful old Maple tree, enjoying the feelings of comfort that were whirling through my mind and body.

Twenty two years later, when I was taking my initial hypnosis certification training in San Diego California, I would discover exactly what had happened on that long ago summer afternoon. While I’m quite sure Tommy had no idea of what he was doing on a conscious level, and in fact, was just being himself, I had discovered that it was possible to duplicate the effect that Tommy had created for me that day, in virtually anyone when you knew how.

What I had experienced that day was the synchronization between Tommy and me, of several aspects of my behavior that were just outside of conscious awareness. Things like my breathing, the rate and speed of my voice (both externally and internally), my posture, and countless other behavioral factors, were being mirrored back to me by Tommy as he visited with me that afternoon. On some other than conscious level, my brain was saying, “Hey, this feels very familiar- this person is just like me.” Familiarity is a very powerful driving force in human beings. We have a propensity to like, agree with, and move towards things that are, or seem familiar, and we usually experience an increase in tension and resistance, and rapidly move away from things that are unfamiliar.

It is important then, to understand that the level of rapport we have with others, or how familiar and “acceptable” we seem to them when interacting, will very often be the difference that makes the difference. When others like and/or feel comfortable with us, they will most likely be willing to take another step forward with the interaction, whatever that step may be. In the event that we have not been able to establish rapport, and the other person is feeling uncomfortable or uneasy with us, we’ll find trying to take the conversation to another level challenging at best-very challenging. It has been my experience that until we have received feedback indicating that others are feeling comfortable with us, our time should be utilized for the sole purpose of creating that much needed level of comfort and trust.

Fortunately, the process of establishing trust with others need not take long at all. By intentionally and systematically learning to employ the mannerisms that my friend Tommy was naturally engaging in that afternoon, we can not only create a feeling of openness in others, but it can make the interaction more comfortable and enjoyable for us as well.

Now, that’s fine and dandy and, one can learn to master the matching and mirroring of another persons breathing, eye blinks, gestures, facial expressions, muscle tension, voice qualities, and countless other behaviors…but…it takes systematic practice and dedication to accomplish the level of mastery that operates for the most part, on an unconscious level.

About a year ago, I discovered something that slices through the muck of learning to establish rapport, and will allow someone to instantly- yes instantly- create the same level of rapport with another person, that someone who has trained for years to be able to achieve with traditional NLP methods.

I am all about simplicity, call it laziness if you want- I’m very comfortable with that “label” if it means getting more done with less effort. Growing up in a farming community, I know all too well what it means to earn your spending money in high school “bucking” hay bales in 100 degree temperatures in the mid day sun. Even from an early age, I never understood the seeming “bravado” of the older men professing proudly how hard they work to earn their money. It didn’t make sense then, and it sure doesn’t make sense today. Mastery is about finding the most efficient way to achieve something, and even then, continuing to look for an even

words I would choose if I was the one talking. Never before, in any of the previous 11 years of my life could I remember having been so relaxed and at ease. Every sign of tension had drained from my body, and all I wanted to do was listen to him talk. When he finally had to dash off to get the hand sliced lunch meat his mother had sent him to get for lunch, I remember just standing under the cool shade of that beautiful old Maple tree, enjoying the feelings of comfort that were whirling through my mind and body.

Twenty two years later, when I was taking my initial hypnosis certification training in San Diego California, I would discover exactly what had happened on that long ago summer afternoon. While I’m quite sure Tommy had no idea of what he was doing on a conscious level, and in fact, was just being himself, I had discovered that it was possible to duplicate the effect that Tommy had created for me that day, in virtually anyone when you knew how.

What I had experienced that day was the synchronization between Tommy and me, of several aspects of my behavior that were just outside of conscious awareness. Things like my breathing, the rate and speed of my voice (both externally and internally), my posture, and countless other behavioral factors, were being mirrored back to me by Tommy as he visited with me that afternoon. On some other than conscious level, my brain was saying, “Hey, this feels very familiar- this person is just like me.” Familiarity is a very powerful driving force in human beings. We have a propensity to like, agree with, and move towards things that are, or seem familiar, and we usually experience an increase in tension and resistance, and rapidly move away from things that are unfamiliar.

It is important then, to understand that the level of rapport we have with others, or how familiar and “acceptable” we seem to them when interacting, will very often be the difference that makes the difference. When others like and/or feel comfortable with us, they will most likely be willing to take another step forward with the interaction, whatever that step may be. In the event that we have not been able to establish rapport, and the other person is feeling uncomfortable or uneasy with us, we’ll find trying to take the conversation to another level challenging at best-very challenging. It has been my experience that until we have received feedback indicating that others are feeling comfortable with us, our time should be utilized for the sole purpose of creating that much needed level of comfort and trust.

Fortunately, the process of establishing trust with others need not take long at all. By intentionally and systematically learning to employ the mannerisms that my friend Tommy was naturally engaging in that afternoon, we can not only create a feeling of openness in others, but it can make the interaction more comfortable and enjoyable for us as well.

Now, that’s fine and dandy and, one can learn to master the matching and mirroring of another persons breathing, eye blinks, gestures, facial expressions, muscle tension, voice qualities, and countless other behaviors…but…it takes systematic practice and dedication to accomplish the level of mastery that operates for the most part, on an unconscious level.

About a year ago, I discovered something that slices through the muck of learning to establish rapport, and will allow someone to instantly- yes instantly- create the same level of rapport with another person, that someone who has trained for years to be able to achieve with traditional NLP methods.

I am all about simplicity, call it laziness if you want- I’m very comfortable with that “label” if it means getting more done with less effort. Growing up in a farming community, I know all too well what it means to earn your spending money in high school “bucking” hay bales in 100 degree temperatures in the mid day sun. Even from an early age, I never understood the seeming “bravado” of the older men professing proudly how hard they work to earn their money. It didn’t make sense then, and it sure doesn’t make sense today. Mastery is about finding the most efficient way to achieve something, and even then, continuing to look for an even

aspects of my behavior that were just outside of conscious awareness. Things like my breathing, the rate and speed of my voice (both externally and internally), my posture, and countless other behavioral factors, were being mirrored back to me by Tommy as he visited with me that afternoon. On some other than conscious level, my brain was saying, “Hey, this feels very familiar- this person is just like me.” Familiarity is a very powerful driving force in human beings. We have a propensity to like, agree with, and move towards things that are, or seem familiar, and we usually experience an increase in tension and resistance, and rapidly move away from things that are unfamiliar.

It is important then, to understand that the level of rapport we have with others, or how familiar and “acceptable” we seem to them when interacting, will very often be the difference that makes the difference. When others like and/or feel comfortable with us, they will most likely be willing to take another step forward with the interaction, whatever that step may be. In the event that we have not been able to establish rapport, and the other person is feeling uncomfortable or uneasy with us, we’ll find trying to take the conversation to another level challenging at best-very challenging. It has been my experience that until we have received feedback indicating that others are feeling comfortable with us, our time should be utilized for the sole purpose of creating that much needed level of comfort and trust.

Fortunately, the process of establishing trust with others need not take long at all. By intentionally and systematically learning to employ the mannerisms that my friend Tommy was naturally engaging in that afternoon, we can not only create a feeling of openness in others, but it can make the interaction more comfortable and enjoyable for us as well.

Now, that’s fine and dandy and, one can learn to master the matching and mirroring of another persons breathing, eye blinks, gestures, facial expressions, muscle tension, voice qualities, and countless other behaviors…but…it takes systematic practice and dedication to accomplish the level of mastery that operates for the most part, on an unconscious level.

About a year ago, I discovered something that slices through the muck of learning to establish rapport, and will allow someone to instantly- yes instantly- create the same level of rapport with another person, that someone who has trained for years to be able to achieve with traditional NLP methods.

I am all about simplicity, call it laziness if you want- I’m very comfortable with that “label” if it means getting more done with less effort. Growing up in a farming community, I know all too well what it means to earn your spending money in high school “bucking” hay bales in 100 degree temperatures in the mid day sun. Even from an early age, I never understood the seeming “bravado” of the older men professing proudly how hard they work to earn their money. It didn’t make sense then, and it sure doesn’t make sense today. Mastery is about finding the most efficient way to achieve something, and even then, continuing to look for an even

n the event that we have not been able to establish rapport, and the other person is feeling uncomfortable or uneasy with us, we’ll find trying to take the conversation to another level challenging at best-very challenging. It has been my experience that until we have received feedback indicating that others are feeling comfortable with us, our time should be utilized for the sole purpose of creating that much needed level of comfort and trust.

Fortunately, the process of establishing trust with others need not take long at all. By intentionally and systematically learning to employ the mannerisms that my friend Tommy was naturally engaging in that afternoon, we can not only create a feeling of openness in others, but it can make the interaction more comfortable and enjoyable for us as well.

Now, that’s fine and dandy and, one can learn to master the matching and mirroring of another persons breathing, eye blinks, gestures, facial expressions, muscle tension, voice qualities, and countless other behaviors…but…it takes systematic practice and dedication to accomplish the level of mastery that operates for the most part, on an unconscious level.

About a year ago, I discovered something that slices through the muck of learning to establish rapport, and will allow someone to instantly- yes instantly- create the same level of rapport with another person, that someone who has trained for years to be able to achieve with traditional NLP methods.

I am all about simplicity, call it laziness if you want- I’m very comfortable with that “label” if it means getting more done with less effort. Growing up in a farming community, I know all too well what it means to earn your spending money in high school “bucking” hay bales in 100 degree temperatures in the mid day sun. Even from an early age, I never understood the seeming “bravado” of the older men professing proudly how hard they work to earn their money. It didn’t make sense then, and it sure doesn’t make sense today. Mastery is about finding the most efficient way to achieve something, and even then, continuing to look for an even

and dedication to accomplish the level of mastery that operates for the most part, on an unconscious level.

About a year ago, I discovered something that slices through the muck of learning to establish rapport, and will allow someone to instantly- yes instantly- create the same level of rapport with another person, that someone who has trained for years to be able to achieve with traditional NLP methods.

I am all about simplicity, call it laziness if you want- I’m very comfortable with that “label” if it means getting more done with less effort. Growing up in a farming community, I know all too well what it means to earn your spending money in high school “bucking” hay bales in 100 degree temperatures in the mid day sun. Even from an early age, I never understood the seeming “bravado” of the older men professing proudly how hard they work to earn their money. It didn’t make sense then, and it sure doesn’t make sense today. Mastery is about finding the most efficient way to achieve something, and even then, continuing to look for an even better way.

So then, what is it that creates such an intense level of rapport? What you are feeling.

The “technique” is simple, so I’m going to keep the explanation simple. If you are accessing the appropriate states, you will also be manifesting the needed physiological counterparts of that state. NLP promotes matching a person’s mannerisms and physical movements, even if those movements aren’t born from a state that will be conducive to them feeling wonderful. While this certainly can work, it eats up a lot of unnecessary time and energy.

If the state you are accessing is strong enough, it will penetrate the roughest of “defense” perimeters put up by others. When I work with a client, I may start “where” they are as far as belief systems are concerned, but I have no desire to access the less than resourceful states they walked in with, thereby feeling it myself. I access the state I want them to gravitate towards, the minute they step out of the car. “Enough already-what is it!” you might be thinking. Well here it is:

The state of gratitude and appreciation. When you have adequately accessed these states, there won’t be any reason to think about your facial expressions, gestures, breathing, etc. You will be displaying so many powerful signals with your non-verbal communication that it’s just not even conceivable that the other person won’t be impacted in a positive way.

This is real simple; there are just a few steps for accessing these states, and once you’re “there” the effect will last for at least an hour, and this will become longer and longer with use.

First, allow your lower jaw to drop down ? -1 inch, so that your jaw is loose and relaxed. Next, look at something in front of you, and while keeping your eyes and head pointed in that direction, shift your attention or awareness into your peripheral vision. Notice and become aware of what’s just off to the sides, just below, and just above.

Loosening the jaw assists you in disengaging from your internal chatter and helps your mind go quiet. Shifting to your peripheral vision will stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system. As odd as it may sound, when the parasympathetic nervous system is stimulated, it actually causes you to relax.

Now you’re ready to close your eyes, and take your awareness to the area that surrounds your heart. Just take it there and focus on this space in your chest for 15-20 seconds. By now you will have noticed a tremendous shift and softening in your state of mind and body. While continuing to hold your attention here, think about someone (living or dead) that you love and appreciate unconditionally. Just let the feelings of love and gratitude you have about this person flood your entire being. (If you don’t get a powerful shift here, use someone else until you do)

You can hold this feeling as long as you want or have time for, and when you are ready to move to the next step, simply think about the person you will be working or communicating with, while holding on, fully and completely to the previous feeling of love and appreciation. When this is done just moments before meeting with this person, the “aura” that will be vibrating from you will be an undeniable force, and they’ll have no choice but to feel the message you’re sending.

Do I do this with everyone I meet? No I don’t, I usually reserve this for family and clients. Once you have used this method, really used this method, with a number of people, you’ll see what I mean. It’s powerful enough that I just don’t want to connect with everyone I meet on that level, and chances are, after you experience its power, you won’t either. Oh but what a tool to have, when you do want or need to connect that deeply! © Copyright 2007 Vincent Harris-All Rights Reserved.