er already in hand. Having a plan B boosts your “acquired” negotiating power and equalizes the power field, especially when your opponent has more “positional” power than you do, such as in the case of your boss in this example. A police crisis negotiator may not always be able to “talk down” a hostage-taker, but their ability to confidently negotiate with that hostage-taker is grounded in their pConflicts happen wherever we go. Conflicts happen at work with coworkers and bosses. Conflicts happen at home with our spouses, girlfriends/boyfriends, sons/daughters, and neighbors. Conflicts happen when we are out on the streets doing our daily errands, such as when encountering a rude person at the grocery line, or a pushy guy at the local bar. To avoid conflict is simply impossible because we would literally have to lock ourselves in a box. Instead, we must learn the valuable skill of negotiating conflicts in a peaceful and productive way. In my book, Street Negotiation: How to Resolve Any Conflict Anytime, I reduce the process of conflict negotiation down into six basic steps that anyone can use to defuse anger and hostility and reach cooperative agreements. Street Negotiation was born from my experience as a patrol officer, working the tough streets of Southern California and learning the negotiation tactics from not only other law enforcement officers, but also the best manipulators, con-artists, and violent individuals out there. I’ve conveniently made an acronym out of those six steps: P.E.R.P.O.S.

Step 1: Plan B
Before you engage in any type of conflict or negotiation, you always want to have a back up plan, or what I call a “plan B” ready to put into action. Your plan B is the best possible outcome you can get for yourself without having to deal with the person at all. So if I were to ask my boss for a raise because I need more money to support my growing family, my plan B—should my boss refuse to negotiate with me, is to have another job offer already in hand. Having a plan B boosts your “acquired” negotiating power and equalizes the power field, especially when your opponent has more “positional” power than you do, such as in the case of your boss in this example. A police crisis negotiator may not always be able to “talk down” a hostage-taker, but their ability to confidently negotiate with that hostage-taker is grounded in their p

e would literally have to lock ourselves in a box. Instead, we must learn the valuable skill of negotiating conflicts in a peaceful and productive way. In my book, Street Negotiation: How to Resolve Any Conflict Anytime, I reduce the process of conflict negotiation down into six basic steps that anyone can use to defuse anger and hostility and reach cooperative agreements. Street Negotiation was born from my experience as a patrol officer, working the tough streets of Southern California and learning the negotiation tactics from not only other law enforcement officers, but also the best manipulators, con-artists, and violent individuals out there. I’ve conveniently made an acronym out of those six steps: P.E.R.P.O.S.

Step 1: Plan B
Before you engage in any type of conflict or negotiation, you always want to have a back up plan, or what I call a “plan B” ready to put into action. Your plan B is the best possible outcome you can get for yourself without having to deal with the person at all. So if I were to ask my boss for a raise because I need more money to support my growing family, my plan B—should my boss refuse to negotiate with me, is to have another job offer already in hand. Having a plan B boosts your “acquired” negotiating power and equalizes the power field, especially when your opponent has more “positional” power than you do, such as in the case of your boss in this example. A police crisis negotiator may not always be able to “talk down” a hostage-taker, but their ability to confidently negotiate with that hostage-taker is grounded in their p

born from my experience as a patrol officer, working the tough streets of Southern California and learning the negotiation tactics from not only other law enforcement officers, but also the best manipulators, con-artists, and violent individuals out there. I’ve conveniently made an acronym out of those six steps: P.E.R.P.O.S.

Step 1: Plan B
Before you engage in any type of conflict or negotiation, you always want to have a back up plan, or what I call a “plan B” ready to put into action. Your plan B is the best possible outcome you can get for yourself without having to deal with the person at all. So if I were to ask my boss for a raise because I need more money to support my growing family, my plan B—should my boss refuse to negotiate with me, is to have another job offer already in hand. Having a plan B boosts your “acquired” negotiating power and equalizes the power field, especially when your opponent has more “positional” power than you do, such as in the case of your boss in this example. A police crisis negotiator may not always be able to “talk down” a hostage-taker, but their ability to confidently negotiate with that hostage-taker is grounded in their p

ict or negotiation, you always want to have a back up plan, or what I call a “plan B” ready to put into action. Your plan B is the best possible outcome you can get for yourself without having to deal with the person at all. So if I were to ask my boss for a raise because I need more money to support my growing family, my plan B—should my boss refuse to negotiate with me, is to have another job offer already in hand. Having a plan B boosts your “acquired” negotiating power and equalizes the power field, especially when your opponent has more “positional” power than you do, such as in the case of your boss in this example. A police crisis negotiator may not always be able to “talk down” a hostage-taker, but their ability to confidently negotiate with that hostage-taker is grounded in their per already in hand. Having a plan B boosts your “acquired” negotiating power and equalizes the power field, especially when your opponent has more “positional” power than you do, such as in the case of your boss in this example. A police crisis negotiator may not always be able to “talk down” a hostage-taker, but their ability to confidently negotiate with that hostage-taker is grounded in their plan B of having the tactical team on standby, ready to go full-breach and restore the situation. Your plan B is your main source of power in any negotiation you go into, so try to develop it as fully as you can prior to engagement.

Step 2: Emotional Control
Emotions, especially anger, cause reactions rather than logical responses to occur. Reactions are detrimental to any type of conflict resolution process because reactions are impulsive rather than rational in nature. Reactions are what our emotional mind believes is the right choice to distance ourselves from emotional pain, but these reactions cause an escalation in conflict as a result. A good example of a reaction is yelling or arguing with someone who doesn’t see something our way. In this example, we are allowing our emotional need to be heard and acknowledged to get in the way of our objective. Just remember the golden rule of conflict resolution: If you react out of emotion, then you automatically lose.

Step 3: Reduce Their Tension
Now that you have your own emotions under control, now is the time to address the other side’s feelings and emotions. Remember that feelings need to be stabilized before the problem can even be addressed. Also remember that what you are feeling may not be what the other person is feeling. You may think that the situation is a simple misunderstanding, but the other person might think you are attacking them personally. Stabilize those feelings by actively listening to them without judging or taking offense at what they have to say, acknowledging t