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Member You - Writing 101: Can You Write A Joke?
Air freight tracking is a service that is provided by many air freight companies in order for their customers to have the information relating to where their freight is at any one time from the moment it leaves their location to the moment it arrives at its destination.Many people are able to visit the freight company's site and just by entering your waybill details you should be able to have the exact location of where your package is at that time.However if you carried out a search of the internet by keying in "air freight tracking" you will find a myriad of sites listed who can find out where your goods are by you either keying in your way bill details or just by clicking on the Air Freight Company that is transporting your goods for you.There are many companies around the world
New Bar Joke #4
A man brings a dog and a cat into a bar and orders milk for the cat and red wine for the dog. The bartender says, “We don’t serve animals. Get those critters out of here.” The man says, “I’ll give you a dollar if you will just bring the wine and the milk.” The bartender says, “Okay, but then you got to get out.” The man gives the milk to the dog and the cat helps the dog lap it up. The man drinks the wine and starts to lleave the bar. The bartender says, “Wait! You owe me $7.50.” The man says, “What do you mean. You agreed to one dollar.”
Existing Bar Joke #5
A man says to the bartender, “Want to see something different?” The bartender says “y
While many people would like to work at home and have some type of home based business, they are often worried about quitting their day job and taking the leap of faith to having a home based business. They worry that a work at home job will not provide the income and security that their family needs to survive. While a home based business can provide the security and income they want, getting to that point can take some time. It is only natural for people to feel this way about working at home.There are ways to minimize the risk of a home based business. The best advice for a home based business beginner is not to quit their day job until their home based business is running successfully and they have gotten into the work at home habit by working in the evenings and on the weekends. This way, a
Existing Bar Joke #1
A man is drinking in a bar when a nun harasses him about drinking. In self-defense the man says, “Who told you that drinking is bad?” Nun: Mother Superior told me. Man: So, have you ever tried it? Nun: No, I haven’t ever taken a drink of hard liquor. Man: Well, don’t criticize me if you haven’t tried it. I’ll tell you what; if you try it and don’t like it I’ll give up drinking for life. Nun: Okay but bring it in a tea cup. I don’t want people thinking I’m drinking. The man goes up to the bartender and says, “Bring me a couple of shots of vodka but bring one of them in a tea cup.” The bartender looked at the man and said, “Is that nun in here again?”
New Bar Joke #1
A nun is bored stiff and she starts drinking the sacramental wine. The priest, who had noticed that wine was disappearing, was getting ready for mass one day when there was no wine at all. He said to the nun, “Those alter boys have been in the wine again. This has to stop. I will put them up for public display during mass. Run out and get some wine!” The nun went out for the wine and as she hustled along the street she said I’ve got the boys in trouble. I prey Lord, what should I do? A voice said The boys are young and they can take the heat. It was a woman’s voice and the nun was confused. Could the Lord speak like a woman, a woman who seemed out of breath? In the liquor store. when she went to pay for the wine. she realized that she had brought no money. She again heard an out-of-breath woman’s voice say The Lord will provide. She took the wine without paying and hurried back to the church getting there just in time for the sacrament service. Before she could tell the priest about the woman’s voice, the priest whispered to her, “You left without the money. I guess Mother Superior caught up to you.”
Existing Bar Joke #2
A shabby drunk asks a priest outside a bar, “What causes arthritis?” The priest hastily answers, “Too much drinking, too many women, and hanging out in bars.” Realizing that he might have humiliated the man, he said, “I’m sorry. I hope you didn’t take what I said personally.” The drunk said, “Not at all. I was referring to the news I saw on the TV in the window of the television store. The pope has arthritis.”
New Bar Joke #2
A priest sees a shabbily dressed vagrant limping down the street. He goes up to him and says, “Can I help you?” The old man says, “I’ve had to get along on my own since the Korean War, dodging bullets, and diving into roadside ditches.” The priest said, “Did you get any medals?” The mans said, “I’ve got a metal plate in my head.” The priest took the man to a refuge and told the manager to take good care of the man because he was a Korean War hero. The manager said, “I know this man and his stories. He stays here every night. The only bullets he ever dodged are the ones from Interstate 5 where he gathers aluminum cans to sell to the recycling center.”
Existing Bar Joke #3
A bar has a daily visitor born in Ireland. He always has three drinks then leaves. He says that he drinks for himself and his two brothers in Ireland. One day he comes in and has only two drinks. The bartender, thinking a brother had died, asks him why only two drinks and he says, “I gave up drinking.”
New Bar Joke #3
An Irishman and a Scotsman are lost in the Sahara. The Irishman says, “I think I can see a bar.” The Scotsman says, “We’ve got plenty of water so don’t go running off to a mirage.” A while later the Irishman comes staggering back plastered to the gills. The Scotsman said, “My God! You did find a bar.” The Irishman said, “No, you were right. It was just a mirage, but I drank anyway.”
Existing Bar Joke #4
A man comes into a bar with a dog and the bartender says, “Get that mutt out of here!” The man says, “This is my seeing-eye dog and he can go into public places. The bartender agrees. A second man comes into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first man whispers to him, “You will have to say that is your seeing-eye dog.” The second man does so and the bartender says, “ A Chihuahua is NOT a seeing-eye dog!” The second man says, “What! They gave me a damned Chihuahua!”
New Bar Joke #4
A man brings a dog and a cat into a bar and orders milk for the cat and red wine for the dog. The bartender says, “We don’t serve animals. Get those critters out of here.” The man says, “I’ll give you a dollar if you will just bring the wine and the milk.” The bartender says, “Okay, but then you got to get out.” The man gives the milk to the dog and the cat helps the dog lap it up. The man drinks the wine and starts to lleave the bar. The bartender says, “Wait! You owe me $7.50.” The man says, “What do you mean. You agreed to one dollar.”
Existing Bar Joke #5
A man says to the bartender, “Want to see something different?” The bartender says “ye
Bulk email marketing has gotten a bad reputation because it is so frequently abused.If you have used email for very long, you've undoubtedly been a victim of unmerciful, and maybe even immoral, email marketing tactics.SPAM is the term used to describe these massive bulk mailings sent to people who did not ask to receive them. SPAM is also referred to as unsolicited email.There are two things you need to know about SPAM and why you should be extremely cautious not become known as a spammer.First, if your bulk email marketing messages are identified as SPAM, your email address or server may get "blacklisted" by other email servers, meaning that they will not accept email from you.Second, the sending of SPAM is now regulated in the United States by the Federal T
Existing Bar Joke #2
A shabby drunk asks a priest outside a bar, “What causes arthritis?” The priest hastily answers, “Too much drinking, too many women, and hanging out in bars.” Realizing that he might have humiliated the man, he said, “I’m sorry. I hope you didn’t take what I said personally.” The drunk said, “Not at all. I was referring to the news I saw on the TV in the window of the television store. The pope has arthritis.”
New Bar Joke #2
A priest sees a shabbily dressed vagrant limping down the street. He goes up to him and says, “Can I help you?” The old man says, “I’ve had to get along on my own since the Korean War, dodging bullets, and diving into roadside ditches.” The priest said, “Did you get any medals?” The mans said, “I’ve got a metal plate in my head.” The priest took the man to a refuge and told the manager to take good care of the man because he was a Korean War hero. The manager said, “I know this man and his stories. He stays here every night. The only bullets he ever dodged are the ones from Interstate 5 where he gathers aluminum cans to sell to the recycling center.”
Existing Bar Joke #3
A bar has a daily visitor born in Ireland. He always has three drinks then leaves. He says that he drinks for himself and his two brothers in Ireland. One day he comes in and has only two drinks. The bartender, thinking a brother had died, asks him why only two drinks and he says, “I gave up drinking.”
New Bar Joke #3
An Irishman and a Scotsman are lost in the Sahara. The Irishman says, “I think I can see a bar.” The Scotsman says, “We’ve got plenty of water so don’t go running off to a mirage.” A while later the Irishman comes staggering back plastered to the gills. The Scotsman said, “My God! You did find a bar.” The Irishman said, “No, you were right. It was just a mirage, but I drank anyway.”
Existing Bar Joke #4
A man comes into a bar with a dog and the bartender says, “Get that mutt out of here!” The man says, “This is my seeing-eye dog and he can go into public places. The bartender agrees. A second man comes into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first man whispers to him, “You will have to say that is your seeing-eye dog.” The second man does so and the bartender says, “ A Chihuahua is NOT a seeing-eye dog!” The second man says, “What! They gave me a damned Chihuahua!”
New Bar Joke #4
A man brings a dog and a cat into a bar and orders milk for the cat and red wine for the dog. The bartender says, “We don’t serve animals. Get those critters out of here.” The man says, “I’ll give you a dollar if you will just bring the wine and the milk.” The bartender says, “Okay, but then you got to get out.” The man gives the milk to the dog and the cat helps the dog lap it up. The man drinks the wine and starts to lleave the bar. The bartender says, “Wait! You owe me $7.50.” The man says, “What do you mean. You agreed to one dollar.”
Existing Bar Joke #5
A man says to the bartender, “Want to see something different?” The bartender says “y
If you've done much job searching, you may have worked with a recruiter at one time or another. Maybe your experience was terrific and you found the job of your dreams, or maybe the recruiter treated you like a commodity to be shopped to the highest bidder.On March 13 I held a joint teleconference with Joe Centrella of Resource Options Inc., one of the premier recruiting and placement firms in the Boston Area. You can hear a recording of the conference here. The official topic of the teleconference was, "What Do Recuiters Do For You", but as it developed, a better title would have been, "How can you find a really good recruiter, and how can you work effectively with him." The discussion ranged far and wide, but Joe came up with three good rules of thumb: A good recruiter will spen
A shabby drunk asks a priest outside a bar, “What causes arthritis?” The priest hastily answers, “Too much drinking, too many women, and hanging out in bars.” Realizing that he might have humiliated the man, he said, “I’m sorry. I hope you didn’t take what I said personally.” The drunk said, “Not at all. I was referring to the news I saw on the TV in the window of the television store. The pope has arthritis.”
New Bar Joke #2
A priest sees a shabbily dressed vagrant limping down the street. He goes up to him and says, “Can I help you?” The old man says, “I’ve had to get along on my own since the Korean War, dodging bullets, and diving into roadside ditches.” The priest said, “Did you get any medals?” The mans said, “I’ve got a metal plate in my head.” The priest took the man to a refuge and told the manager to take good care of the man because he was a Korean War hero. The manager said, “I know this man and his stories. He stays here every night. The only bullets he ever dodged are the ones from Interstate 5 where he gathers aluminum cans to sell to the recycling center.”
Existing Bar Joke #3
A bar has a daily visitor born in Ireland. He always has three drinks then leaves. He says that he drinks for himself and his two brothers in Ireland. One day he comes in and has only two drinks. The bartender, thinking a brother had died, asks him why only two drinks and he says, “I gave up drinking.”
New Bar Joke #3
An Irishman and a Scotsman are lost in the Sahara. The Irishman says, “I think I can see a bar.” The Scotsman says, “We’ve got plenty of water so don’t go running off to a mirage.” A while later the Irishman comes staggering back plastered to the gills. The Scotsman said, “My God! You did find a bar.” The Irishman said, “No, you were right. It was just a mirage, but I drank anyway.”
Existing Bar Joke #4
A man comes into a bar with a dog and the bartender says, “Get that mutt out of here!” The man says, “This is my seeing-eye dog and he can go into public places. The bartender agrees. A second man comes into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first man whispers to him, “You will have to say that is your seeing-eye dog.” The second man does so and the bartender says, “ A Chihuahua is NOT a seeing-eye dog!” The second man says, “What! They gave me a damned Chihuahua!”
New Bar Joke #4
A man brings a dog and a cat into a bar and orders milk for the cat and red wine for the dog. The bartender says, “We don’t serve animals. Get those critters out of here.” The man says, “I’ll give you a dollar if you will just bring the wine and the milk.” The bartender says, “Okay, but then you got to get out.” The man gives the milk to the dog and the cat helps the dog lap it up. The man drinks the wine and starts to lleave the bar. The bartender says, “Wait! You owe me $7.50.” The man says, “What do you mean. You agreed to one dollar.”
Existing Bar Joke #5
A man says to the bartender, “Want to see something different?” The bartender says “y
Interesting title and maybe it made you smile, however for some webmasters this is a very real condition. Do you have it? I hope not, but you can find out by reading on. Hopefully if you are infected with this disease then this article should immunize you and ensure you a long and healthy webmaster life. (I'll send you the bill for the immunization later)Ok let's get serious. I have spent many years helping all sorts of web businesses get off the ground from info sites to entire shopping malls, I have built them all. What is always interesting to me is to see is which sites stay around and which disappear after a few months.Over the past few years I have noticed something very interesting. A small percentage of my clients are constantly tweaking their sites, adding this feature, adding tha
Existing Bar Joke #3
A bar has a daily visitor born in Ireland. He always has three drinks then leaves. He says that he drinks for himself and his two brothers in Ireland. One day he comes in and has only two drinks. The bartender, thinking a brother had died, asks him why only two drinks and he says, “I gave up drinking.”
New Bar Joke #3
An Irishman and a Scotsman are lost in the Sahara. The Irishman says, “I think I can see a bar.” The Scotsman says, “We’ve got plenty of water so don’t go running off to a mirage.” A while later the Irishman comes staggering back plastered to the gills. The Scotsman said, “My God! You did find a bar.” The Irishman said, “No, you were right. It was just a mirage, but I drank anyway.”
Existing Bar Joke #4
A man comes into a bar with a dog and the bartender says, “Get that mutt out of here!” The man says, “This is my seeing-eye dog and he can go into public places. The bartender agrees. A second man comes into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first man whispers to him, “You will have to say that is your seeing-eye dog.” The second man does so and the bartender says, “ A Chihuahua is NOT a seeing-eye dog!” The second man says, “What! They gave me a damned Chihuahua!”
New Bar Joke #4
A man brings a dog and a cat into a bar and orders milk for the cat and red wine for the dog. The bartender says, “We don’t serve animals. Get those critters out of here.” The man says, “I’ll give you a dollar if you will just bring the wine and the milk.” The bartender says, “Okay, but then you got to get out.” The man gives the milk to the dog and the cat helps the dog lap it up. The man drinks the wine and starts to lleave the bar. The bartender says, “Wait! You owe me $7.50.” The man says, “What do you mean. You agreed to one dollar.”
Existing Bar Joke #5
A man says to the bartender, “Want to see something different?” The bartender says “y
If you have joined the blogging revolution that is sweeping the net, and you think you might want to make a little revenue – or a lot of revenue – from your blogging efforts, you need AdSense tips for bloggers. Blogging has opened up an entirely new way of how non-technical people interact with the Internet, and now, anyone can publish anything about any topic – without having a website – and anyone can profit without even having a product!Adsense for blogs make perfect sense. Google’s advertising programs are designed to work with sites related to the keywords for the ads that are being presented. Each time you add content to your blog, the Google spiders gobble it up. The more you update, the more the Google spider visits your page. Ultimately, you move up in the SERPs (Search Engine Results
New Bar Joke #4
A man brings a dog and a cat into a bar and orders milk for the cat and red wine for the dog. The bartender says, “We don’t serve animals. Get those critters out of here.” The man says, “I’ll give you a dollar if you will just bring the wine and the milk.” The bartender says, “Okay, but then you got to get out.” The man gives the milk to the dog and the cat helps the dog lap it up. The man drinks the wine and starts to lleave the bar. The bartender says, “Wait! You owe me $7.50.” The man says, “What do you mean. You agreed to one dollar.”
Existing Bar Joke #5
A man says to the bartender, “Want to see something different?” The bartender says “yes” and the man takes a small piano out of his pocket, then a mouse who plays the piano. Then he takes a frog out of his pocket. The mouse plays the piano and the frog sings. A patron of the bar says he wants to buy the frog. He offers more and more money until the first man finally sells the frog for $500,000.00. When the buyer left the bar with his new frog the bartender says, “You could have got a million for a frog like that. The man said, “Nah! The mouse is the ventriloquist.”
New Bar Joke #5
A man goes into a bar and has a drink. When he starts to leave without paying, the mans says, “Can anyone give me change for a $1000.00 bill?” Everybody look at him as if he were crazy but one old man dressed in a Brooks Brothers suit says, “I can give it to you.” The man pays the bartender and walks out of the bar. The bartender says, “Hey, that guy never gave you the $1000 bill and he walked out of here with all that money.” The old man said, “Don’t worry about it. I work at the bank and I could see the guy is a forger. The $1000.00 bill was a phony.” The bartender said, “What about the money—“ The old man ran out of the bar yelling, “POLICE!”
Okay, it’s your turn to write some jokes!
copyright©2007 John Taylor Jones, Ph.D.
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